Damn Chicken Sandwich!

I have worked so ruddy hard and finally caved in to temptation.

I was making hubby some dinner, roast chicken, potatoes and peas. I couldn't help myself There was just so much meat left on that teasing bird so I grabbed 2 slices of wholemeal bread and some low fat mayo. I cut of enough meat for a nice chunky sarnie and shoved it all in my mouth within about 3 bites. agghh!

Well ok, I didn't shive it in really. I savoured it for ages and couldn't help myself from enjoying it. It wasn't the sarnie that i was enjoying to be honest, it was the chewing and feeling normal again! The sandwich itself was not all that nice. Not nearly as nice as I thought it was going to be.

Its funny but I think when you start missing food and feeling deprived, you build it up to be more yummy than it really is. I have to say, my tempting bastard sarnie didnt really taste much of anything but I still enjoyed the chewing.

Was it worth the guilt though? NOPE!

I got kicked out of ketosis and am having to start all over again. I can't give up so easily. I have already taken steps to prepare myself for being slim very soon!

I went onto ebay.co.uk and bought myself a gorgeous mini-dress in a size 10 which is probably totally unsuitable for someone who will be 30 when they can wear it but thats ok, I intend to act out being 21 again for the next decade so sod it!

I also bought a trendy yummy red top which is exactly the kind of top that would only suit someone with a small figure.

So my new dress and top are sitting in my wardrobe. Every couple of days I take them out and think about the time when I will be able to wear them and how nice they'll look. It does help me stay on track (except when a chicken is calling me).

So to combat the cravings and temptations of cheating I have begged hubby to take over in the kitchen. He has agreed to do the shopping and cooking for him and the kids. Except for 1 week a month, he will be doing all the food. For that one week a month, he'll be working from noon til 8pm so I will have to see to those meals. I have asked him to try to have something already prepared for me to just quickly re-heat. He says he'll try but I am not that deluded really lol. I am pretty sure he will get naffed off with doing all the food but tough luck really. I need the support and help. If it kills me (or, most likely him) he will uddy well provide that support!

As for Christmas day.....

Well I stupidly offered to have my entire family over for Christmas Day before I started the cambridge Diet. So they are all still coming. I am cooking for 10 people and so will have that day off the diet. I hereby swear to be sensible and just eat a little without feeling guilt or worrying. I just have to be really good until the day otherwise I will feel like I have failed.

God help me stay strong!

In the meantime, I am off to the gym tonight. The scary place where fatties fear to tread. I hate walking in and only feel ok when I see other fatties (which is every single time...theres always a few of us in there!)

You aren't meant to excersise too much during this diet but 45 minutes on the treadmill never killed anyone...at least I doubt it has.

Hopefully I wont be the first. Thats a lottery I dont wanna win ( as hubby would say!)