"You've got a lovely face...."

Hmmm...

This can only mean "shame about the rest of you, fat cow!"

I've heard this "lovely face" comment almost all of my life. I know its said with good intent but I swear I could just pummell the next person to ever say it to me. The last person to say it was my husband so I guess he better choose his words carefully in future lol.

Im facing 30 years old in January and am gutted that I have gotten this old and am still so unhappy with myself. So the moment has arrived....

ACTION!!

Here I am in all my glory ready to face myself (WITH MY "LOVELY FACE", OF COURSE!). This may sound like an easy thing to do for many people but there are those of us who take a long time (if ever) to really "fess up" and sort ourselves out.

My name is Karen and Im 29 years old. I am married with 3 children and am happy on the surface. Under the surface is an entirely different story but I will undoubtedly spill all that here on a daily bases. So, anyone reading this may want to stop now if they have any aversion to slightly (extemely) screwed up people!

I am starting this blog as a commitment to myself that I really am changing things. No more hiding or trying to be invisable.

Im sure I'll have my critics but I'm also sure there will be plenty of people who identify with me. Those are the ones that count in my opinion.

WHAT WAY TO GO?

I have tried everything including Slimming World, Weight Watchers, Slimfast, Aitkins, Lipotrim and dreadful Slimming Pills via my GP. At one stage I went down the route of a back alley doctor who, looking back on all that was really preying on the people who had given up hope. A long queue of desperate looking frumps waiting for their pills and water tablets. Me being one of the more desperate ones.

I have to say, all of these diets have worked for me...for a while. Of them all I have to say Slimming World is the best one but I'm more desperate than ever now. I have AT LEAST 10 STONES TO LOSE!! and no longer have the heart/soul or sanity to muck around.

I recently started considering stomach stapling. I mentioned it to hubby but his advice is that I need to exhaust all avenues before doing something so drastic. I have to say I am not keen on having surgery or being in that small percentage of people that die as a result of this weight loss method.

I know people say "why not just cut down and exercise?" Well it isn't so easy for everyone. Food is most definately my drug. Its a problem for me and I have some deep seated issues with it. Its my heroine, my 2 litres of cider. Its my downfall and I am completely lost to it.

As for exercise, I agree. It needs to be a part of any weight loss plan. Last week I joined a gym with my husband and even went in there twice! Anyone who knows me would know that this is a BIG commitment for me. I hate anything that involves exercise. I actually found i liked it though. I got that endorphine kick all those mental thin exercisey people bleat on about which was pretty fab.

So thats one good step in the right direction. Now i need an eating plan....or not!

Last week Hubby asked me to pick him up some nice fattening snacks whist I was running to the shop. I picked out some junk for him and resisted buying any for myself. I knew I would need a distraction while he stuffed his face so instead I went to the diet mags and picked up one called "Lighter Life". There was a woman grinning on the front page looking all healthy and happy. She was bragging about losing 10 stone so I bought it, knowing my weight loss needs are similar.

I didn't realise that Lighter Life is a structured diet plan like Weight Watchers and the others with weekly meetings etc. I thought it was just a general diet mag.

So I am intruged to try it.

My understanding so far is that you basically give up eating and have weekly 2 hour group therapy to learn about why you have issues with food (if indeed you do). In this time you are having a complete break from food and can concerntrate on the problems you have relating to it whilst having food replacement drinks and soups.

I will write about the diet properly with all the correct facts. Right now Im just eager to get my first post over and done with!

Tonight I have an information meeting with my local Lighterlife counsellor. She believes that because Christmas is nearly here, only 4 people will be attending this meeting but thats fine by me.

If this isn't the diet for me then fine. I will look for some help elsewhere. I am resigned to needing indepth counselling either way. Lots of bleak memories to re-hash, demons to confront and depress myself with. Which is exactly why I have put it off for so long. Somethings gotta give though....and I don't want it to be my ticker!